


At The End

by lilolilyrae



Series: Mentalist OT3 ficlets [2]
Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Let it be - hayley kiyoko, Multi, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-10-17 06:57:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20616875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilolilyrae/pseuds/lilolilyrae
Summary: Red John has been caught- for real this time.[Can be seen as a  follow up toNew Beginnings]





	At The End

**Author's Note:**

> Alright so this is one of these times where u have a weird scenario stuck in my head that won't make sense for anyone but myself but I wrote it anyway.  
Also in which universe is such a fic a songfic to Hayley Kiyoko's Let It Be? XD This is where. Oh well. A few of the lyrics make a surprising amount of sense, if we switch the POV a bit between Patrick and Walter... Idek. 
> 
> This fic is ignoring everything past s3e (or trying to, I did watch more, but like-whatever) and setting on a while after that in an AU with Lisbon/Jane/Mashburne as an established relationship.
> 
> Btw I headcanon that Lisbon & Jane just called each other Lisbon & Jane for so long that they still use their last names sometimes after they got together, it doesn't mean that it's impersonal or anything, it's just what they're used to, and coming from each other it almost feels like pet names at times :)  
(apart from that, though, I honestly gotta say some of the dialogue is probably pretty ooc bc I didn't feel motivated enough to properly edit everything but Who reads fic to this ship anyways I mean cmon I don't think I'm disappointing many people here lol)

> _Baby, come around 'cause I need you_  
_ Baby, calm me down let me see you_  
_ 'Cause you know you're my operator_  
_ Let me show every single layer_

They caught Red John.

They, not he, and caught, not killed.

And he has no doubt that it is the right one this time- Before, it had been too easy. Now...

It wasn't easy at all.

Patrick can't stop pacing. It's that or drinking himself into a stupor, in a way he never has in his life.

...or try to climb the walls of a prison tho shoot who's inside- but he's still too logical, still _thinking_ too much to even properly consider it.

"Come on, won't you sit down? You'll feel better when-"

"You have no idea how I feel!" where is all that rage coming from? No, he knows where it is coming from. He's just directing it at the wrong person, Walt doesn't deserve this, and still he can't stop- Patrick turns around again so he doesn't have to face him anymore.

"No, I don't" Walter agrees. "and you are not even trying to let me understand. I get that you're mad at Tessa, even though you got to understand that she didn't even have anything to do with them putting him behind bars before you got your chance to shoot the bastard... But why are you shutting _me_ out?"

> _Losing all my power just to have you_  
_ Hundred miles an hour thinking 'bout you_

Patrick presses the heels of his hands against his closed eyes.

Red John. 

He ruled his life for so long, all his choices... And now the final choice, to kill him or not, isn't even his own.

Patrick feels nauseous, like something is inheritely wrong with the world.

He wants to talk to Walt, tell him, let him hug him and tell him everything is going to be okay.

But how can he? Not just because he won't believe the part about being okay again, but also- it isn't just Red John himself that has him worked up. It's all the memories that have come up again...

> _Every night gets a little tougher_  
_ How can I dream about another?_

The wound feels so fresh.

Logically, he knows it happened years ago. And that they, his wife and daughter both, would want him to be happy again. That he deserves this, Walt and Teresa and everything... Knows that it isn't wrong in any way.

Yet, he can't help feeling that it is. _Wrong_. How can he possibly love someone like this again while he is grieving his family?

"Patrick?" Walt asks softly.

A hesitant touch on his shoulder, so unlike him. Well, this situation is unlike anything else, too.

"Please, talk to me. Or not, I guess, just- you don't have to go through whatever you're going through right now alone."

> _'Cause I believe we're the ones who had it all_  
_ I believe we just had to learn to fall_  
_ I miss you, I love you, so it's really hard to see_  
_ Yeah, we just got to let it be_

> _Let us see, be free_

"It's just so hard" Patrick gasps out. "All of it" 

Walt's hand on his shoulder gets more sure as he doesn't push it off, and he is grateful for the contact. Still, on top of all the _wrong_ he feels awkward, now, too, and wishes Lisbon were here, wishes he hadn't shouted at her earlier- he knows Walt loves him, tries to understand him, but Teresa has known him for years longer, seen him struggle with his past before-

> _Baby, come around 'cause I want you_  
_ Laying on the floor here without you_  
_ 'Cause you know you're my operator_  
_ Help me show every single layer_

"Do you think Lisbon's mad at me?"

"What? God no, I mean, I'm sure she didn't like your shouting match any more than you did, but she knows this isn't your normal you okay?"

Patrick nods. Walt draws him into a hug. 

He still doesn't explain, still doesn't even know where to start. But it's better than nothing.

> _Giving baby steps a new meaning_  
_ Yeah, I'm making such a mess of my feelings_  
_ Won't you just meet me in the middle_  
_ Where's the love, won't you give a little?_

> _'Cause I believe we're the ones who had it all_  
_ I believe we just had to learn to fall_  
_ I miss you, I love you, so it's really hard to see_  
_ Yeah, we just got to let it be_

> _Let us see, be free_  
_ Let us see, be free_

"Hey"- a soft voice from the entrance. Teresa.

She's just standing there- not sure whether she's wanted right now. Still giving him space.

> _Can't imitate us it's breaking my bones_  
_ Heart up in chaos that keeps me alone_  
_ Wasted the beautiful all on my own_  
_ I'm making a new home_

For some reason, that is what finally breaks him, out of anger and frustration into sadness.

He had never been one to cry a lot. It makes you seem vulnerable, and it imperes your vision. He can't have that.

Now, he can't help it.

> _Can't leave the dark 'cause you're all in my head_  
_ All in my head and it's killing me and it's killing me_  
_ 'Cause we're at the end_

Tears are falling freely, and a second later Teresa is there, gathering him in her arms while Walt is petting his headhunting his arms, both of them holding him, not letting go.

"Shhh" Teresa mumbles. "Oh, Jane, love... I know this is not what you wanted, and I know that it reminds you of- everything, but at least he's behind bars now, right? He won't hurt you again, and I won't say I'm sorry that you didn't get to kill him, because while I hate to see you hurting I'm selfish enough to say I'm glad that you didn't go to prison and that I can have you here instead... It's going to get better, I know how strong you are, I know you know it... And we're here for you, whatever you need us, alright?" 

> _I believe we're the ones who had it all_  
_ I believe we just had to learn to fall_  
_ I miss you, I love you, so it's really hard to see_  
_ Yeah, we just got to let it be_

At night, laying in-between Walter and Teresa, he thinks he might start to believe them.

> _...we just got to let it be_

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, let me know!
> 
> Btw I have literally not ever seen the last seasons of the show so no spoilers please!


End file.
